Tips for Stepmothers

  • You do not have to love your stepchildren. It is important that you treat them respectfully and fairly.
  • Make yourself available, but continue to enjoy your own activities, too.
  • Be patient. Relationships take time to develop.
  • Clarify parenting expectations with your spouse.
  • Treat the ex-wife respectfully, and accept that your husband needs to communicate with her regularly for the benefit of the children.

Tips for Stepfathers

  • You do not have to love your stepchildren. It is important that you treat them respectfully and fairly.
  • Share yourself. Spend time with each stepchild.
  • Let a friendship develop between you and the children before attempting discipline.
  • Help your spouse develop rules, and let her be the primary enforcer of rules.
  • Talk to your wife if you feel undermined.


Tips for the Biological Parent

  • Allow your partner and your children to get acquainted on their terms.
  • Maintain realistic expectations. It takes time for relationships to develop.
  • Take the role of primary disciplinarian.
  • Spend time alone with your partner, your children, and yourself.
  • Keep your partner informed.
  • Set a tone of acceptance and respect.
  • Remain open and flexible.